


Though It's Easy To Pretend

by writesometimes



Series: Undercover Lovers [1]
Category: Psych
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Getting Together, Holding Hands, Just All The Romantic Fluffy Cliches, M/M, Romantic Walks On The Beach, Undercover as a Couple, gentle kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 14:36:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14834124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writesometimes/pseuds/writesometimes
Summary: Lassiter goes undercover as a rich tech entrepreneur. Shawn is mistaken for his boyfriend. The two must work together to solve a case and present themselves as a happy, loving couple.





	Though It's Easy To Pretend

The sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky, and the faintest smell of fresh ocean air drifted on the cool breeze. An idyllic day like any other in Santa Barbara. Gus closed his menu and set it on the table in front of him. Shawn was still carefully perusing his as the pair waited to order their lunch. They sat out in the brilliant sunshine at a small table on the patio of a trendy downtown restaurant.

Gus took a sip of his ice water and spied the waitress coming their way. "She's coming back, put your menu down so she knows we're ready to order."

Shawn hummed and pulled his menu closer to his face. "I'm still looking."

Gus watched as their waitress breezed by, offering him a small smile as she passed. He sighed frustratedly. "You order the same thing every time we come here, Shawn. You're just doing this so I can't talk to Amanda."

Shawn peeked over his menu at his best friend. "What if I wanted to try something different this time? If that happens to spare sweet Amanda from your cheesy pick up lines, so be it."

Gus clucked his tongue. "She digs me, I can tell. You're just jealous 'cause you haven't even been able to flirt with anyone successfully for like four months."

Shawn rolled his eyes and placed his menu on the table in front of him. "I have chosen, on my own, to take a brief vow of celibacy. Recharge my mental abilities and whatever." He took a sip of his water and shot a smug look at Gus.

Gus waved a dismissive hand at him. "Please, it couldn't possibly take four months for  _your_  mental abilities to recharge."

Shawn squinted his eyes at his friend. Amanda strolled up to their table before he could respond. They placed their orders quickly, Gus flirted shamelessly, and they thanked the kind blonde as she made her way back to the kitchen.

"You ordered the same thing you always order," Gus said pointedly. Shawn just shrugged. Gus shook his head and looked out across the street. "You're childish, Shawn, and that's why you can't get a woman to even listen to you let alone give you their number."

Shawn was about to supply a witty quip, when Gus tapped the table loudly. "Is that Lassiter?" he asked, nudging his head in the direction of the cafè across the street.

"Gus, please, that's the hippest cafè in Santa Barbara. Lassie wouldn't be caught dead --" Shawn couldn't finish the thought though because there, in a wrought iron patio chair that looked like it climbed straight out of a Pottery Barn catalogue, was a man that did in fact resemble Lassiter. Casually sipping an espresso.

"I mean, the guy is like Lassie shaped at best," Shawn huffed.

"I think it's him, dude."

The man's hair was too slicked back, his suit a touch too tailored, dark wayfarers where mirrored aviators should be, gold cufflinks, and an expensive watch on his wrist that he kept checking. He looked up scanned the small crowd on the cafè patio.

"Holy shit, it _is_  Lassie!" Shawn gasped.

"I told you!" Gus said triumphantly.

Shawn qawked at the weird version of Lassiter sitting across the street. "Maybe someone nominated him for one of those god awful style make over shows."

"Just last week I caught you marathoning 'What Not To Wear', Shawn."

"They're addicting!"

A dark haired, slim, and well-dressed man approached Lassiter at his small table and the detective gestured to the seat opposite him. The man sat immediately.

"Who's this guy?" Gus whispered.

"I don't know? A friend? Weird, I've never pictured Lassie having a life outside the department," Shawn mused.

"They don't look like they're old buddies. They didn't even shake hands," Gus observed.

"Let's go embarrass him in front of his new hipster friend!" Shawn suggested excitedly.

"Our food!" Gus cried. "Amanda! We can't leave just after we've placed our orders!"

"Fine, I'll go over there myself. You can wait here for the food. I'll be back in like five minutes anyway. I just want to go ruin this whole new 'cool Lassie' thing he's got going on right now. It's embarrassing for him and the entire town of Santa Barbara." Shawn jumped up out of his chair and made his way out of the restaurant patio before Gus could object.

He carefully zig-zagged his way across the street to avoid being spotted by Lassiter and came up behind the detective. His new friend was talking to him quietly. Shawn was having trouble understanding what he was saying through the man's thick European accent. Shawn tip-toed up to the detective and clapped him on the shoulder. Lassiter jumped.

"Hey!" Shawn called excitedly.

Lassiter's new friend looked unimpressed. "Carlton, who is this?" he asked, looking at Shawn suspiciously.

Lassiter looked over his shoulder at Shawn and groaned quietly.

"I'm his partner," Shawn supplied simply.

"Spencer!" Lassiter spun in his chair, rage evident even behind the dark sunglasses.

"Oh, I see. A younger husband. Good for you, Carlton," the mystery friend said behind a sly smile.

"What?" Shawn muttered.

"We're not married," Lassiter choked out.

"Ah, well, my apologies. Give it time," he whispered, giving Lassiter a wink.

Shawn stood behind Lassiter, mouth hanging open, unable to speak.

"Well, I think we're finished here anyway. I look forward to seeing you this Saturday. Bring your partner. My wife will be back from her vacation in Spain. They can entertain one another while we talk business." The man stood and held out his hand toward Lassiter.

The detective shook it immediately and nodded. "Of course. Thank you."

With that the mystery man left. Lassiter spun around and ripped the sunglasses from his face. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Spencer?" he demanded.

Shawn shook his head, eyes wide in disbelief. "Who was that?"

Lassiter sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked around the cafè and noticed people staring at him and Shawn, taking in the public spectacle. He leaned over, closer to Shawn. "At the station. I'm not doing this here." He turned quickly and left the cafè.

Shawn stood, rooted to his spot. "What?" he whispered to himself.

* * *

Shawn, Gus and Lassiter were gathered in Chief Vick's office. All the blinds were drawn and Vick had a stern look on her face. Shawn and Gus were seated opposite her desk. Lassiter hung back, leaning against a wall near the door, ready to bolt the second he was dismissed.

Shawn sat hunched over, heels of his palms pressed hard into his eyes. "Undercover?" he muttered in shock.

"For three months now," Lassiter said curtly.

Beside him, Shawn heard a loud crunch. He looked over to see Gus eating his lunch out of a to-go container. "Really dude?"

"I paid for this food, Shawn. I'm gonna eat it." Gus stared Shawn down as he took another bite of his lunch.

Chief Vick sighed and swiveled her office chair in Lassiter's direction. "Was your cover blown?" she asked the detective calmly.

"No," Lassiter said confidently. "Gaston doesn't suspect anything. There was a misunderstanding but... it worked out fine. It's all fine."

"His name is _Gaston_? Seriously?" Shawn asked, looking at Lassiter in disbelief. "Is he a criminal? He's a criminal, right? He sounds like every criminal in every eighties movie ever."

"He's European," Lassiter exclaimed, "And you don't need to know anything else about my case, Spencer."

"How am I supposed to accompany you, as your boyfriend, to _Gaston's_  house this Saturday for dinner if I don't know anything about the case?" Shawn watched as Lassiter turned redder than he'd ever seen.

Gus stopped chewing and stared at his best friend. "What the hell did you do?" he whispered through chip crumbs.

Chief Vick clasped her hands together atop her desk and let out another deep sigh. "What is Mr. Spencer talking about?" A few moments passed and no one made a sound. She rolled her eyes. " _What happened_?" she demanded.

"There was a... misunderstanding. Spencer made an ass of himself, almost blew my cover, but Gaston read the situation wrong and thought he was my... boyfriend." Lassiter stared at the toes of his fancy wingtip shoes.

"Dude," Gus' eyes went wide as he stared at Shawn.

"I meant 'partner' in the whole law enforcement sense. Not the romantic life companion sense!" Shawn explained defensively.

"You're not even my partner in the _law enforcement_  sense, Spencer!"

Shawn turned in his seat to look at Lassiter where he was still lurking slightly behind everyone in the office. "I was trying to embarrass you! I thought you'd gone all slick hipster on us and I was just going to go bring you back to your senses. I didn't know you were undercover. Why didn't I know that? Does Jules know? Is she undercover too? What exactly are you undercover for? How --"

"Enough!" Lassiter barked. "You don't need to know anything about the case. And of course Juliet knows I'm undercover, she's my partner."

Shawn squinted at the detective. "Is she undercover with you?"

"No," Lassiter bellowed.

Chief Vick cleared her throat loudly. "Gentlemen, I think we have bigger things to discuss here. Mr. Spencer, you're incredibly lucky you didn't blow Lassiter's cover. Detective, can you still work this case successfully?"

Lassiter nodded curtly. "Of course, Chief. Everything is still going according to plan. It'll be fine." He backed up a bit and reached for the door handle. "And now that this has all been handled, I really should get back to work. I have a lot to do."

"So then I'll see you Saturday for dinner with _Gaston_?" Shawn called coyly.

"I'll tell him we broke up," Lassiter groused.

"Won't that look suspicious? Tuesday you have a hot young boy-toy on your arm, Saturday you've broken up?" Shawn gave Chief Vick what he thought was his most charming smile.

"That's ridiculous. People break up all the time. There's --"

"Lassiter, I think Mr. Spencer may have a point," Chief Vick interjected. "I'm not saying you have to bring him onto the case full-time, but maybe just take him to this dinner on Saturday. If that's what Gaston is expecting, perhaps it's better to just go with it."

Lassiter groaned and crossed the office to stand in front of the Chief's desk. "He's a moron, Chief. He'll ruin the whole case. I've been undercover for three months. If he ruins all of this --"

"I'll be on my best behavior! I swear!" Shawn crossed his heart emphatically. Lassiter stared daggers at him.

Gus crunched loudly on another chip and everyone shot him a pointed look. He closed his to-go container and placed it in his lap. "Good job, Shawn. Lassiter is going to shoot you for sure this time," he hissed at his best friend.

"Mr. Spencer, you'd have to take this very seriously. Detective Lassiter has put a tremendous amount of work into this case," Chief Vick warned.

Lassiter gaped at Chief Vick. "You're kidding, Chief! This is stupid and I can't believe --"

"Are you questioning my judgment, Detective?"

"Absolutely not, Chief," Lassiter said quietly.

"Then take Mr. Spencer to the dinner on Saturday. Mr. Spencer, if you ruin this case for Detective Lassiter you won't be working many more cases for the SPBD. If we're all understood here, you're dismissed." The Chief gave everyone a pleasant smile as she waited for them to leave her office.

Juliet sat at her desk and watched as her partner, Shawn and Gus filed out of the Chief's office. Lassiter plopped down at his desk while Shawn and Gus hung back by Vick's door, bickering quietly. "What happened?" Juliet asked her partner as she watched Shawn and Gus out of the corner of her eye.

"Nothing, it's fine. I have to take Spencer to dinner with me on Saturday. Gaston... thinks he's my boyfriend," Lassiter explained flatly.

"What?" Juliet shrieked. Everyone in the department turned and stared. She ducked her head and tucked her bangs behind her ear. "What?" she asked again, quieter.

Lassiter let out a deep sigh. "There was a misunderstanding. Spencer nearly blew my cover being a jackass, but everything is fine."

"And Gaston thinks Shawn is your... _boyfriend_?"

"It's complicated."

"Complicated how? What happened?"

Before Lassiter could respond, Shawn and Gus strolled over to his desk. "Lassie, I think we should meet later to go over our story," Shawn said seriously.

"What are you talking about? What story?" Lassiter slammed the top drawer of his desk closed.

"Our love story, silly," Shawn batted his eyelashes at the detective.

"He just grabbed a pen, Shawn. Be careful or he'll gouge your eyes out with it," Gus muttered.

"He has a point, Carlton. If Shawn shows up and knows nothing about who you're supposed to be it could derail your whole case," Juliet chimed in thoughtfully.

Lassiter groaned and tossed his pen down on his desk. "Fine. _Fine_."

"Sweet. Come by the Psych office later and we'll create the dream relationship," Shawn beamed. He and Gus turned and headed for the doors of the precinct.

Once in the parking lot, Gus stared at Shawn over the top of the Blueberry as he pulled his keys from his pocket. "Lassiter's gonna kill you, you know," he said nonchalantly as he unlocked the car.

Shawn shrugged. "Not before Saturday at least."

* * *

Gus turned around in his office chair and watched as Shawn put a bowl of pretzels on the coffee table in their office. "What are you doing?"

Shawn smiled at his best friend as he fluffed the decorative pillows on the couch. "People are less likely to shoot you if they're busy snacking, Gus."

Gus nodded thoughtfully and stood, crossing the office to grab a handful of the pretzels. "I still say Lassiter's gonna kill you for sure this time. Snacks or no snacks." He crunched away at the pretzels.

"Thanks for the support, dude."

"This is your own fault, don't try to make me feel bad for you. If you had just left him alone and enjoyed your lunch, none of this would be happening anyway."

Shawn sighed and tossed the pillow he was fluffing down on the couch. "How was I supposed to know he was undercover?" he cried as he plopped down on the couch dramatically.

Gus grabbed another handful of pretzels. Shawn reached out and swatted his hand out of the bowl. "Undercover or not, he was minding his business, we were minding ours. You're the one who just had to go bug him."

Shawn rolled his eyes. "Bugging Lassie is one of my favorite hobbies, you know that! How was I supposed to leave him alone when he looked so ridiculous? I mean, _gold cufflinks_? How could I resist?"

Gus brushed pretzel crumbs off his chest. The bell ringing above the front door caught their attention.

Lassiter stalked through the office and stopped in front of Shawn. "I'm going to kill you, Spencer."

"Told you," Gus said smugly as he snatched another handful of pretzels from the bowl.

"Lassie, have a seat. Grab a pretzel," Shawn smiled, ignoring the unimpressed look Gus was giving him.

"You are going to ruin three months worth of solid undercover work 'cause you can't resist an opportunity to be a jackass," Lassiter accused.

Shawn help up his hands. "Whoa, whoa, Lassie, pump your brakes. I swear on my _Twin Peaks_  DVD collection that I will do no such thing."

Lassiter glared at him. "If you ruin this for me I swear to god, Spencer, I will --"

"I get it, Lassie, you'll kill me. Believe it or not I will be on my best behavior come this Saturday. Now come on, take a seat, we need to get our stories straight for this _Gaston_  dude." Shawn patted the seat next to him.

Lassiter begrudgingly sat on the couch, as far from Shawn as possible. "Gaston is a fine art and antiquities smuggler from Europe," the detective explained. "A local millionaire has offered to open up his mansion to display a handful of artifacts. Among them are some items thought to be a helmet and armor that may have belonged to Alexander the Great."

"Alexander the Great? Like the ancient king guy from that movie?" Shawn asked as he popped a pretzel in his mouth. Gus and Lassiter stared at him in disbelief. "What? It had Angelina Jolie _and_  Colin Farrell in it like I'm not gonna watch that?"

"He was one of the most important historical figures... you know what, nevermind. If you didn't pay attention in high school you're not going to now," Gus huffed.

"Anyway," Lassiter cut in, "I've been posing as rich entrepreneur looking to get into the antiquities game. Sort of a hobby really. For my undercover persona. I made it big in the tech boom and now I need a way to spend all my money. So I've been looking to buy priceless artifacts, by any means necessary. That's how I came into contact with Gaston. He's going to steal the Alexander artifacts for me and I'm going to buy them off him. Then he'll rot in prison for many, many years," Lassiter explained, a wide grin on his face.

"So what's this _undercover persona's_  name and stuff? How old are you supposed to be? Where were you born? Chocolate or vanilla ice cream? Aisle or window seat when you're flying --"

Lassiter rolled his eyes and cut Shawn off. "He knows me as Carlton Lansing, and that I have a lot of money and that's all he cares about, Spencer. And that I want to buy illegally obtained artifacts off him of course."

"You mean to tell me you've had this incredible opportunity to create some kind of badass rich alter-ego, for work no less, and that's all you've come up with?" Shawn implored.

"That's weak, man," Gus chimed in from his office chair.

"Well I'm sorry I don't have copious amounts of free time to sit around and concoct a ridiculous fantasy life like you two losers," Lassiter countered.

Shawn and Gus huffed indignantly. "Please, you don't have the imaginative genius Gus and I posses and you're just too stuffy to admit it."

Lassiter stood up from the couch. "You know what, I knew you couldn't take this seriously. You're going to blow this whole thing for me."

Shawn scrambled to his feet. "Lassie, Lassie. I'm sorry. Okay. I'll be more serious. So... what should _our_  back story be?"

Lassiter scrubbed his hand over his face roughly. "I don't know."

"Well, let's start small. How'd we meet?"

Lassiter stared at the bowl of pretzels silently.

"This is the part where you contribute to the plan, Lassie."

"I don't know. This is stupid. It's never gonna work."

"Okay, positivity, great. Really bringing your A game, Lass."

"What exactly happened when Gaston... assumed you were his boyfriend?" Gus chimed in.

"He congratulated Lassie on having a hot younger boyfriend," Shawn said with broad grin on his face.

Lassiter sighed.

"Okay, and he thinks Lassiter is some kind of tech millionaire, right?" Gus continued.

Lassiter nodded slowly.

"So, Shawn, you're the hot younger boyfriend who doesn't really care what your man does just so long as he takes you to all the fancy parties and stuff, and Lassiter is the sugar daddy who dotes on his arm candy to keep him happy," Gus suggested simply.

Lassiter and Shawn stared at Gus.

"What? Like you've never dreamed of striking it rich and dotting your way across the globe crashing lavish parties with a supermodel?" Gus asked incredulously.

"You know that's all I've ever dreamed of, Gus," Shawn said seriously.

"Okay, okay, that will work," Lassiter conceded. "So just show up, look decent, and keep your mouth shut," he groused at Shawn.

"Not so fast, Lassie. I'm supposed to keep this guy's wife company while you two _talk business_. What if she asks something personal. Like, I don't know, how long we've been a couple?" Shawn sat back down on the couch and grabbed some more pretzels.

Lassiter sighed and sat back down himself. "Okay. So. Any ideas?" He looked over at Gus pleadingly.

"I already gave you the first part, it's all you guys now," Gus said, turning his attention to his computer.

"What if we met at some Silicon Valley tech start-up party?" Shawn suggested.

Lassiter nodded. "He thinks I made all my money about three years ago. So if we met at a tech party, say two years ago, that would be believable."

"See! We're getting there. So do we live together or..." Shawn trailed off, staring at Lassiter expectantly.

Lassiter wiped his palms on his knees. "This is --"

"Relevant stuff we've got to figure out," Shawn interjected.

"It would look weird if you two were together for two years, attending dinners together and didn't live together," Gus supplied from behind his computer monitor.

Lassiter groaned loudly. "Fine, we live together. Are we done now?"

"What was our first date? What's our song? Do we have any pets? I mean there's so much to cover," Shawn rambled.

"Look, Spencer, since you're so _into_  all of this, you can create our back story. I'll just go along with it on Saturday. But I swear to god, if you do anything stupid I will discharge my weapon during dinner," Lassiter said gruffly.

Shawn squealed quietly. Lassiter glared at him. "All right, okay, I will concoct a plausible and charming back story and I absolutely will not blow this case for you, Lassie. You have my word." He stuck his hand out toward Lassiter. The detective reluctantly shook it before making his way out the door.

"You're gonna die on Saturday, dude," Gus laughed.

"So helpful," Shawn mumbled.

* * *

The week rolled by surprisingly fast and it was Friday before Shawn knew it. Lassiter was stopping by that evening to hammer out the final details with Shawn. He'd spent the whole week constructing his and Lassiter's undercover relationship story. He'd nailed down all the most important parts, their first date, where they had their first kiss, when they moved in together. It was all coming along nicely. Shawn kicked his feet up on his desk in the Psych office and looked over the page of details he'd printed out. He smiled smugly to himself.

"You really put a lot of effort into this," Gus said as he dug through the office freezer.

Shawn shrugged. "I don't really feel like getting shot in some European criminal's house this weekend during dinner."

Gus hummed thoughtfully as he dug through the office freezer. "Still... you got new clothes for this and everything. Which you're totally paying me back for by the way."

"Of course, of course. I wanted to look the part though, you know? I can't show up as some tech millionaire's arm candy looking less than amazing." Shawn ran a hand through his hair. "Not that it takes too much work though."

"Tell that to my credit card bill," Gus muttered.

Shawn rolled his eyes and kicked his feet off the desk. He tucked the paper with his carefully constructed undercover relationship details beneath his _Transformers_  mouse pad.

Gus closed the freezer door with his hip and smiled at the frozen custard he'd found. "You think you can handle things with Lassiter on your own?" he asked as he dug a spoon out of a drawer.

Shawn looked at Gus quizzically. "You have some amazing plans for the night?"

"It _is_  Friday, Shawn."

"So?"

"I may or may not have a date with a certain blonde waitress."

"You have a date with Amanda? Why didn't you tell me, dude!"

"You were too engrossed with your whole undercover relationship with Lassiter. Plus, I didn't want you to try and sabotage things between us before I even got a first date with her."

Shawn scrunched up his face. "I would never!" he shouted.

Gus sighed. "You do. Like every time I meet a woman. You're awful."

"I'm only looking out for you, Gus!"

"Whatever, Shawn. I'm leaving as soon as I finish this frozen custard. Have fun with Lassiter."

True to his word, as soon as he finished his frozen custard, Gus left the office. Shawn tidied up the place and went into the bathroom to re-apply some cologne and fix his hair. He stared at himself in the mirror and realized he was _primping_  for Lassiter. He laughed nervously and tossed his comb down on the sink. The bell above the front door rang and he rushed out of the bathroom.

Lassiter stood in the middle of the office wearing dark colored jeans and a dark plaid button down shirt. Shawn was caught slightly off guard at the sight of the detective in jeans. He nodded at him curtly. Lassiter simply nodded back.

"Are you all set for tomorrow?" the detective asked.

Shawn grinned. "You have no idea. I've worked everything out for us. Okay, so we had our first date --"

"I told you, I don't care about the details. Just don't blow this for me, Spencer. That's all that matters, okay?" Lassiter interjected.

Shawn's smile disappeared.

"Be ready at five," Lassiter barked.

"So, that's it then? You came all the way over here just to tell me what time to be ready?" Shawn asked incredulously.

"And to remind you not to blow this case for me or I'll kill you," Lassiter sneered and saw himself to the door.

Shawn plopped down on the couch and frowned. He thought Lassiter would at least want to go over some details with him, that he would be impressed with all the thought Shawn had put into things. He pulled his phone out of his pocket. A quick text to tease Gus would cheer him up.

_Don't tell that corny joke about square roots tonight unless you want to drive Amanda away instantly_

Gus sent him back a middle-finger emoji almost immediately.

Shawn smiled.

* * *

Lassiter pulled up outside the Psych office at five sharp on Saturday in a slick, black Mercedes Benz. Shawn let out a low, appreciative whistle as the detective walked through the office door. "Sweet ride. Where've you been hiding that?"

"It's on loan from the department so don't get it dirty," Lassiter informed him curtly.

Shawn nodded. "You look... the part. I guess," he said looking Lassiter over.

The detective had a navy sport coat on with some khakis and a light blue button down shirt, the first few buttons of which were popped open. Tan wingtips, gold cufflinks, wayfarers, and a large gold watch finished off the outfit.

Shawn noticed Lassiter wasn't wearing a tie and tugged at his own nervously. "Do I look all right?"

Lassiter glanced over at Shawn. His forest green sport coat, grey slacks and gray button down shirt were all obviously new. The white tie stood out boldly. He chewed his lip as he studied the outfit closely. "Lose the tie. Apparently they aren't _hip_  for dinner parties anymore," he scoffed.

Shawn laughed nervously as he pulled the tie from around his neck and hung it up by the door. "Are we all set then?"

"Yeah, let's get this over with," Lassiter said opening the door.

Shawn walked out quickly and slid into the waiting Mercedes. He picked at his cuticles as he waited for Lassiter to start the car. They rode in silence for a while before Shawn couldn't stand it anymore. "So, do you know anything about the wife?"

Lassiter shook his head. "I've never met her. Gaston said she's just returning from a vacation in Spain."

Shawn hummed and looked out the window. He drummed his fingers on the pricey leather interior of the car and watched as Santa Barbara passed by outside. He shouldn't have been nervous, he'd thought of everything, but his heart rate had suddenly picked up. It only got worse once they longer they drove. Suddenly, a large, modern mansion came into view and Shawn let out a small laugh. Lassiter furrowed his brow.

"This is totally the house a European antiquities smuggler would rent, oh my god," Shawn laughed loudly.

Lassiter pulled the car up to the house and put it in park. "Okay, get all your jokes out now. Do not screw this up tonight," he warned gruffly.

Shawn took a deep breath through his nose and studied Lassiter. The detective was just as nervous as he was. Shawn cocked his head to the side and smiled. "You look nice, honey."

Lassiter cleared his throat loudly. "Are you finished?"

"Oh, come on. You better get used to it, we're gonna have to be a happy couple all night."

Lassiter threw the car door open and climbed out. Shawn followed suit and came around the front of the car to link his arm with the detective's. Lassiter stared down at Shawn for a moment before they walked up to the front door. They didn't have to wait long before a very tall man in a black suit greeted them.

"Mr. Lansing, please come in. Gaston and Shelly will be down in a moment," the man informed them in a deep voice.

As if on cue the slim, dark haired man Shawn had seen at the cafè, and an equally slim brunette woman, descended the marble spiral staircase in the middle of the entryway. Gaston was dressed all in white linen while the woman was wearing a floor-length dark purple satin dress. Shawn had to suppress a giggle. The very picture of a modern day antiquities smuggler and his doting wife.

"Carlton! It's so good to see you! And you brought... Oh! What was your name again? Spencer! That's right. It's so nice you could come. This is my wife, Shelly," Gaston grinned as he gestured to the woman at his side. She smiled pleasantly and shook Shawn and Lassiter's hands.

Shawn chuckled. "It was so nice of you to invite me."

Lassiter smiled at Shawn as he patted him on the arm. "Yes, thank you for inviting us both. It's a pleasure to meet you, Shelly."

Again, the woman smiled sweetly at them. "Spencer, why don't we go get some cocktails ready and let the men discuss their... business." She gave her husband a coy grin as she led Shawn to the kitchen. Her accent was lighter than her husband's and sounded almost musical. Shawn smiled back at her and nodded.

Lassiter shot Shawn a panicked look for a moment before Gaston led him off to a home office in the opposite direction of the kitchen. Shawn worried his lower lip as he followed Shelly through the massive house to the open kitchen.

"Such a nice place you have here," Shawn said as he looked around the large, bright kitchen.

Shelly sighed. "It is nice. I've been hinting that I'd like for Gaston to buy it but... we'll see. It's very nice here. I love the beach."

"Yeah, Santa Barbara is pretty sweet." Shawn ran his hand over the cool granite countertop.

A short burst of laughter came from Shelly. Shawn froze. Had he already messed this all up?

" _Pretty sweet_. I take it you're from here?"

"Uh, yeah. Yes," Shawn choked out nervously.

"I don't mean to laugh it's just... only a local could describe it like that. You've been here your whole life. For a visitor this is like a paradise." Shelly placed some glasses on the counter and started gathering up various bottles of alcohol.

Shawn relaxed. "So true," he agreed smoothly.

Shelly smiled at him as she poured different liquids into a large cocktail shaker. "How long have you and Carlton been dating?"

"About two years now. How long have you and Gaston been married?

"It will be six years this summer. Hard to believe sometimes." She gracefully poured four martinis into glasses and placed them all on an agate and brass tray. "Why don't we take these into the boys before they get too swept up in their business."

Shawn nodded and again followed Shelly through the sprawling mansion. Her heels clicked lightly over the wood flooring as they walked. Lassiter's hushed voice reached Shawn's ears and he felt himself relax. He entered the office after Shelly and saw Gaston and Lassiter looking over some papers on a glass desk.

"Honey, I'm sure Declan has dinner all ready by now. Come, you can get back to business after we eat," Shelly purred as she slipped a martini into her husband's hand. Gaston smiled down at her and pecked her on the lips.

Shawn glanced over at the other martinis sitting on the tray. He picked two up and offered one to Lassiter. "Isn't this house lovely, dear?" he asked as he took a sip of his own beverage.

Lassiter swallowed thickly and smiled down at Shawn. "Just wonderful," he said sweetly.

Shelly insisted they all go eat, and led the way once again through the house to the dining room. The entire room was a neutral taupe color with a large, dark wooden table and chairs in the center complemented by dark red drapes and rugs. Shawn took a deep breath. It was the perfect rich villain's dining room.

Gaston took the seat at the head of the table while Shelly sat to his right. Lassiter took the seat to his left and Shawn claimed the seat next to the detective. The man in the black suit that had let them in the house reappeared and served dinner. Shelly thanked the man sweetly and took her cutlery in hand.

"Enjoy! It's one of my favorites from Spain, Valencian paella. I just got back and miss the food already," Shelly explained as she took a dainty bite.

Shawn looked down at his plate. At least it didn't seem like he'd have to suffer through four stuffy courses of dinner. He dug in appreciatively. "This is delicious," he said between bites.

Lassiter gave him a tight lipped smile and took a bite of his own food. "Oh, this _is_  good," he said as he chewed.

Shelly laughed. "Declan is such a wonder in the kitchen. We are so lucky to have him. Do you two have a cook? We could definitely make some recommendations for you if you're looking."

"Oh, we like to cook together when we can. Carlton is often so busy we have no time and we end up eating out but, when we get the chance, we love to spend time together in the kitchen," Shawn smiled as he took a swig of his martini. Lassiter cleared his throat and took a long drink of his own cocktail.

"That's so sweet!" Shelly sighed wistfully. "I'm dreadful in the kitchen so I'm not sure it would be too much fun for us." She reached over and took her husband's hand.

Lassiter reached over and took Shawn's hand in his own. Shawn bit his tongue, literally. "Spencer is still trying to help me find my way around the kitchen," Lassiter said warmly as he looked into Shawn's eyes.

Shawn ducked his head and laughed quietly. "He makes it sound like I have some idea of what I'm doing in the kitchen myself."

Gaston hummed as he took a sip of his martini. "Perhaps we could take a cooking class, dear."

Shelly looked at her husband adoringly. "You spoil me, Gaston."

"What's all the money for if I can't make my other half happy?"

"Here, here," Lassiter said, raising his own martini glass and squeezing Shawn's hand.

Shawn took a deep breath, raised his glass along with everyone else, and then quickly drained the rest of his martini.

Shelly called Declan in to refill their drinks and then turned her attention to Lassiter. "So, Carlton, when did you discover your interest in antiquities?"

Lassiter set his cutlery down and wiped his mouth with his napkin. "Well, I was always somewhat interested in them, but once I had the money, well... I could actually afford to _really_  discover them. It's fascinating what we can learn from the people of the past."

Shawn stuffed more paella in his mouth. This was too much. The clothes, these people, Lassiter's _undercover persona_. He was going to laugh at any minute. "Is there a... restroom I could use?" he asked quietly.

"Of course!" Gaston supplied happily. "Through the door to your left, down the short hallway. First door on the right."

Shawn smiled appreciatively and stood to excuse himself from the table. Lassiter grabbed his wrist as he walked by and kissed the back of his hand. Shawn smiled down at Lassiter and moved quickly through the dining room.

Once he was finally alone in the bathroom, Shawn pulled his phone from the pocket inside his sport coat.

_Dude, this is all so weird!_

He waited anxiously for a response from Gus.

_What did you expect? You're pretending to be Lassiter's boyfriend in some European criminal's mansion for the night_

_I know, I know! But... He's like really good at this. And these people! It's ridiculous!_

Shawn flushed the toilet and splashed his face with some cool water as he waited for Gus' response. He could hear everyone laughing in the dining room. "Come on, dude, text me back. I can't hide in the bathroom all night," he hissed at his phone. At last it vibrated.

_Did you just say Lassiter was good at pretending to be your boyfriend?_

Shawn choked and nearly dropped his phone in the sink.

_G2G buddy, can't hide in the bathroom all night_

He shoved the phone back in his coat pocket and opened the bathroom door. He felt it vibrate repeatedly against his chest and said a silent prayer that it would stop before he got back to the dining room. Shawn took his seat and quickly got back to the food in front of him.

"Spencer, I must know, do you also share your boyfriend's interest in antiquities?" Gaston asked.

Shawn's eyes widened. "Uh, no, I can't say that I do. Sadly. I was never very good at history. They're all just interesting things for me too look at I'm afraid."

Lassiter started to laugh but covered it up with a short cough. "I try to tell him a little bit about each piece I buy," he supplied through a smile.

"Oh, Spencer, it really is all so interesting once you start learning about it. Having the artifacts there, in front of your eyes, makes it all so much more real," Shelly said smartly.

"Do you work with your husband? Selling the antiquities?" Shawn asked innocently as he took another bite of food. Lassiter gave him a pointed look.

"In a way," Shelly answered, smiling at her husband conspiratorially. The pair shared a quiet laugh.

Shawn nodded and finished his second martini.

Gaston set his cutlery down on the table and tossed his napkin over his plate. "I don't think I could eat another bite. Carlton, what do you say we finish going over those papers in the office?"

"Certainly," Lassiter agreed and placed his own napkin over his plate.

"Shelly, why don't you and Spencer set everything up for a nice dessert out on the deck for later?" Gaston suggested to his wife. She smiled and told Shawn to follow her into the kitchen once more. Shawn looked over his shoulder at Lassiter's retreating form as the detective followed Gaston back into the office.

Shelly pulled a few things out of the fridge and got four bowls out of some cabinets. "A parfait of sorts," she said, spooning some fruit, yogurt, and granola into the small bowls. "One of the only things I know how to prepare I'm afraid." She laughed airily as she doled out more yogurt.

Shawn huffed a small laugh and watched as she portioned out four equal bowls of parfait. She placed all the bowls on the same agate and brass tray that had miraculously found its way back to the kitchen.

 _Must be nice to have a man servant_  Shawn thought to himself. An smirk worked its way across his lips.

"Something amusing?" Shelly asked coyly.

Shawn shook his head. "I was just thinking about how happy Carlton always is when he's hunting down a new piece to bring home."

"You two seem very happy together."

"You and Gaston seem like the perfect couple yourselves."

Shelly put the yogurt back in the fridge and tipped her head toward the back door, gesturing for Shawn to follow her. "We're very happy, Gaston and I," she said as she led him to a massive deck overlooking the calm ocean below. She set the tray on a rattan table and turned to face Shawn. "We were very lucky to find one another and to live a life like this." She spread her arms out, indicating the house and the spectacular view of the beach.

Shawn jumped when he felt an arm wrap around his lower back. He turned to find Carlton standing beside him.

"Well, I hope you brought some champagne out," Gaston said giddily. "Carlton has just agreed to the terms. Soon enough the pieces will be in your personal collection, my friend!"

Shelly called for Declan to bring out some champagne.

Shawn linked his fingers with Lassiter's where they rested against his hip and leaned up, closer to the man. He was about to ask how much Lassiter had just agreed to pay for the stolen artifacts, when Lassiter pecked him on the temple before he could say anything. Shawn stood completely still.

Declan strolled out onto the deck and offered everyone what Shawn suspected was very expensive French champagne. He gulped his entire glass down in one go.

Lassiter walked over and clapped Gaston on the back. "I'm so glad we got the chance to meet. To new friends," he said, holding his glass out.

Everyone again joined in on the toast. Shawn weakly lifted his own glass, hoping no one would notice it was already empty. Shelly ushered them into deck chairs and passed out the bowls of parfait. "You two should absolutely come back next weekend!" she insisted as they all ate their desserts.

Shawn immediately looked over at Lassiter. The detective linked their fingers together and smiled at Shelly.

"We'd love to," Lassiter said warmly.

Shawn stuffed a spoonful of yogurt in his mouth.

* * *

The first few minutes of the car ride back to the Psych office were silent. Lassiter stared out the windshield of the Mercedes while Shawn looked at every button on the impressive dashboard. He clicked a few things on and off repeatedly and Lassiter swatted his hand away.

"On loan from the department, remember?" Lassiter scolded.

Shawn pouted and put his hands in his lap. He stared out the window silently for a while before the black nothingness of night finally started to bore him. "That went well, right?" he asked cautiously.

Lassiter put on his blinker as he came to a stop at a light. "It was fine. They didn't suspect a thing. You did... good, Spencer."

Shawn let out a little sigh of relief. "So I guess it's a good thing I created a whole back story for us since we're going back next weekend," he said excitedly.

Lassiter looked over at him like he'd grown a second head. "Are you nuts? You're not going back there! This is _my_  case. Tonight was stressful enough. I don't need you hanging around, making this harder than it has to be."

"Excuse me but Shelly absolutely loves me and, I don't expect you to have picked up on this 'cause you're not psychic like yours truly, but she's totally in on her husband's shady smuggling business! If you want to take them both down you _need_  me, dude! Besides, you told them we were coming back next weekend."

"I was being polite. I'm sure I can think of some excuse to get out of it. I'm supposed to be a rich entrepreneur. Maybe I sent you on a fancy cruise to Spain 'cause you loved the paella so much and you just _had_  to learn the recipe. Since you love to cook and all," Lassiter suggested sarcastically.

Shawn rolled his eyes. "I'm your in with them, dude, just admit it. On your own they like you, but us as a couple? They think we're charming and adorable. They think they've met their Santa Barbara equals."

Lassiter pulled into the parking lot out front of the Psych office. "Look, I appreciate you taking this seriously tonight and not making an ass out of yourself, it must have taken great restraint, but you're not needed for the remainder of the case."

Shawn flung the car door open. "Fine. See how far you get without me then, butthead."

The detective leered at Shawn for a moment before he slammed the car door shut. Lassiter peeled out of the parking lot and Shawn sulked to the office's front door. He let himself in and threw himself down on the couch dramatically. His phone vibrated in his coat pocket. There were numerous missed texts from Gus.

_What do you mean Lassiter is good at being your pretend boyfriend?_

_What's going on?_

_Are you still alive lol_

_Seriously, wtf is happening are you alive?_

_Shawn, did you make it home?_

_If you don't text me back by midnight I'm calling your dad_

Shawn sighed and looked at the time. Eleven thirty.

_Everything's fine, dude. I'll tell you all about it later. Gonna crash at the office. ttyl_

He tossed his phone on the coffee table and laid out on the couch. The cell buzzed loudly against the coffee table and he turned his back on it. The office phone started ringing as soon as the cell phone stopped buzzing. Shawn reached under the couch and grabbed the office phone.

"Gus, I told you I'd talk to you tomorrow. I'm tired and I want to get some sleep."

"I needed voice confirmation that you were actually still alive," Gus insisted.

"And I still have all my fingers and toes too. Anything else, Mom?" Shawn groused.

"What, didn't get a good night kiss from your perfect fake boyfriend?"

"I'm flipping you off right now. You can't see it, but I want you to know that I'm flipping you off."

Gus huffed into the phone. "Whatever, Shawn, I'll talk to you later."

Shawn ended the call and tossed the phone back under the couch. He shut his eyes and pulled a pillow under his head. He'd sleep off his bad mood, treat himself to a pineapple smoothie in the morning, and everything would be fine. Lassiter didn't need his help? Fine. Wasn't the end of the world. He and Gus would probably catch a case of their own soon anyway, and he'd be too busy to think about Lassiter's case.

* * *

Shawn awoke the next day to Gus loudly pulling all the office blinds open. He sat up on the couch and groaned.

"Good morning, sunshine," Gus called sweetly.

Shawn groaned louder. "What time is it?"

"Ten thirty. I checked my email, cleaned out the fridge _again_ , even vacuumed, and you didn't so much as budge. I got tired of waiting," Gus pulled open another set of blinds dramatically.

Shawn shielded his eyes with his hand. "Okay, okay, I get it. You're lucky they didn't turn me into a vampire last night you know."

Gus rolled his eyes and sat down on the couch next to Shawn. "So... what happened?"

"Pineapple smoothie, then I'll --"

"Now," Gus demanded.

Shawn rubbed his eyes and yawned loudly. Gus' face told him he wasn't playing, and he started telling him all about Gaston and Shelly. Their villainous outfits, the over the top mansion, how sickeningly sweet they were to one another, Declan. Gus listened intently and nodded along as Shawn spoke.

"Pineapple smoothie now," Shawn demanded like a child.

"What about the whole 'Lassiter is a good fake boyfriend' thing? For a minute I thought you were using some kind of weird code to let me know you were in trouble," Gus said.

"He was just better at the whole thing than I thought he would be, that's all." Shawn thought back to the deck, when Lassiter had kissed his temple sweetly. He felt his face flushing and stood up to go dig through the fridge. "He really laid on the waspy charm and they loved it." He dug a fruit cup out of the back of the fridge and peeled the plastic off the top before pouring most of its contents in his mouth.

"We have spoons," Gus grimaced.

Shawn shrugged and finished the fruit cup.

"So... nothing weird happened last night then? You seemed kinda irritated when I called," Gus said hesitantly.

Shawn crushed the empty plastic cup in his hand and tossed it in the trash. "Nope. Everything was fine. I was on my best behavior as I promised and I survived the night. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going home to shower and change." He didn't wait for a response from Gus as he gathered his phone and keys and headed out the office door.

* * *

Lassiter was enjoying his peaceful Sunday when his cell buzzed around one. He paused the episode of _Forensic Files_  he was watching and checked his phone. It was Gaston. He opened the message immediately.

_I just got confirmation that the artifacts will be on display in a month. I know it's a little longer than we wanted to wait, but it will give me some more time to finalize the plans. It's all coming together_

_That's great news_  

Lassiter stared expectantly at his phone while he waited for a reply.

_Indeed. Shelly also can't stop raving about you and Spencer. You two must join us again when you're free_

Lassiter groaned as he read the message. Shawn had been right. There was no getting rid of him now. He sighed as he typed slowly on his phone's tiny keyboard.

_That's so sweet. I'll check our calendar, thank you!_

He locked his phone and tossed it down on the couch. "It's for the case," he muttered to himself as he resumed his episode of _Forensic Files_.

* * *

Monday morning Juliet showed up to the precinct bright and early. Since Lassiter had been undercover she'd handled some of the paperwork on the case for him. She'd also picked up a few cases of her own and she'd wanted to get a head start on her paper work so she could devote most of her time to working her latest case. She was surprised when she saw her partner walking out of Chief Vick's office. He looked angry.

"Carlton! I feel like I hardly see you anymore. How's the case going?" she asked cheerfully.

"It was going fine until Spencer got involved!" Lassiter yelled. He turned around and saw his partner's smile falter. "I'm sorry. It's not your fault." He sat down on the bench outside the Chief's office and sighed.

Juliet sat next to him on the bench. "What's going on? Did everything go okay with Shawn on Saturday?"

"Everything went great. So great Gaston and Shelly want the two of us to go back to their place for another get-together as soon as we have some free time." He leaned his head back against the wall behind him.

Juliet cocked her head to the side and offered him a sympathetic smile. "He took it seriously at least. Look at it this way, the closer you get to them, the better your chances are of getting more evidence against them."

Lassiter took a deep breath. He'd never admit it, but he admired his partner's eternal optimism. He smiled warmly at her. "I guess you're right. And smart. That's the same thing the Chief said."

Juliet grinned and rose from the bench. "You want to get lunch later? Talk about it?"

"Rain check? I've gotta go let Spencer know he was right after all."

Juliet gave him a puzzled look. "Good luck with that."

* * *

Shawn was playing tetris on his computer when Lassiter barged in the office. "We have to talk," the detective barked as he stalked over to Shawn's desk.

Gus clicked out of his web browser and stood up from his office chair.

"Where are you going, buddy?" Shawn all but pleaded.

"Amanda is covering a lunch shift for a friend at the restaurant and I'm gonna go visit her at work."

"Hey, what a great idea! I'll come with you!"

"You seem like you've got your hands full."

Lassiter stood next to Shawn's desk looking severely irritated. Gus waved nonchalantly and headed out to the parking lot.

"How can I help you, Lassie?" Shawn asked sheepishly as he pushed his chair away from his desk.

Lassiter shut his eyes and took a deep breath. "You were right," he muttered.

Shawn's eyes lit up. "I'm sorry? I didn't quite catch that."

"You. Were. Right. You were right. Okay? Happy?"

"Delighted! But you're gonna have to narrow it down, Lassie. I've been right about a lot of things."

Lassiter rolled his eyes. "Shelly and Gaston. They want the four of us to get together again. Soon. Chief Vick says I should go with it, that it's a good way to get closer to them and possibly gather more evidence for the case. So --"

"I'm back on the case!" Shawn interjected excitedly.

Lassiter shook his head ruefully. "You're back on the case," he sighed in agreement.

Shawn jumped out of his office chair and pumped his fist in the air.

"Don't screw this up for me. I swear to god, Spencer --"

"You'll kill me, discharge your weapon, blah, blah, blah. Don't worry Lassie! I obviously did okay on Saturday. It'll be fine!" Shawn beamed at the detective. "So, when are we going back to the sweet evil villain mansion?"

Lassiter pulled his phone from his pocket. "I'll ask Gaston what he's doing tomorrow." It wasn't long after he sent the text that his phone started buzzing. "He says he and Shelly are looking forward to seeing us again. They want us to join them for lunch," he said grimly.

Shawn stepped closer to Lassiter and put his hands on the taller man's shoulders. Lassiter scowled at him. "Don't worry, Lassie. We're gonna charm their rich, evil socks off."

* * *

Lassiter showed up at the Psych office on Tuesday around eleven thirty. He pulled his wayfarers off his face as he entered the Psych office and looked around for Shawn. "Are you ready to go?" he called out impatiently.

Shawn bounded out of the bathroom and smiled at the detective. "Nice outfit," he snarked as Lassiter adjusted his collar. The detective was wearing a baby blue polo shirt, khakis, and to Shawn's delight, sandals.

"Nice _mandals_ , dude," Shawn laughed.

Lassiter looked down at his feet and then back up at Shawn's brand new pastel plaid button down shirt. "You look like an Easter basket," he snarled.

Shawn sniffed once and smoothed out his shirt. "I look trendy and well taken care of, thank you very much."

"Let's just go," Lassiter said, walking out the door.

Shawn followed suit and slid into the black Mercedes. Again, the pair sat in silence as they made the drive out to the vast beachfront mansion. Declan let them inside promptly and they waited a moment for Shelly and Gaston to appear. Lassiter reached over and linked his fingers with Shawn's.

Gaston and Shelly swooped into the room before Shawn could say anything to Lassiter. "Carlton, Spencer! We're so glad you could join us again so soon!" Gaston called as he approached them. He clapped them both on the shoulder and gave them a charming smile.

Lassiter smiled back warmly. "Thank you for inviting us again."

"It's so nice to have friends here, at last!" Shelly beamed as she hugged Shawn and then Lassiter quickly.

Shawn cleared his throat and nodded at the couple. "I was so thrilled when Carlton suggested we visit you again so soon." He looked up at Lassiter lovingly.

"Come, come, we're having some drinks out on the deck. It's such a lovely day!" Shelly asked Declan to bring two more gin and tonics out and led the way to the deck.

Shawn sat down gently on cozy bench with a perfect view of the Pacific. Lassiter sat down beside him and slung his arm around Shawn's shoulders. Declan handed them highball glasses brimming with gin and tonic and perfect lime wedges. Lassiter squeezed Shawn's shoulder lovingly as he took a slow sip of his drink.

Shawn chugged half his cocktail immediately.

Shelly elegantly deposited herself in her husband's lap and asked how the rest of their weekend had gone. Lassiter chatted pleasantly with the couple as Shawn stared off into space. The weight of Lassiter's arm across his shoulders was distracting.

Gaston's loud laugh brought him back to the moment. "Well it won't be much more of a wait, I assure you. I've already ensured we'll all be invited to the private exhibit."

Lassiter tipped his glass toward Gaston. "Wonderful."

Declan came out onto the deck and announced lunch was served. They all filed into the house to eat. Rose gold tinted bowls brimming with nicoise salads sat out on the table and everyone took their seats. More gin and tonics were served. Lassiter reached over and put his hand gently on Shawn's knee.

Shawn glanced over at Lassiter. The man wasn't even looking at him. He was laughing at whatever pretentious thing Gaston had just said. Shawn picked at his salad.

"Spencer, you're from around here. What's your favorite beach? I love it here at Hendry's, the views are amazing, but I'd like to explore some other places," Shelly said suddenly.

Shawn started at her blankly for a moment before he cleared his throat. "Leadbetter Beach. It's absolutely beautiful. Carlton and I spent part of our first date there," he smiled at the man sitting beside him.

Lassiter pulled his hand from Shawn's knee and rubbed his back.

"Oh, we'll simply have to go see it sometime, honey," Shelly cooed at Gaston.

Lassiter suddenly leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to Shawn's temple. "It is a beautiful place. Especially at sunset," he said, looking into Shawn's eyes.

Shawn swallowed thickly and ducked his head.

Lunch went on pleasantly and Declan reappeared to clear their dishes when they'd finished. Shelly asked Shawn to accompany her to her craft room. Gaston wanted to show Lassiter a piece he'd recently 'acquired' that was on display in their living room. The pair went their separate ways.

Shelly's craft room was actually a large, open air sun room filled with potted plants, easels, and oil paints. Some paintings of the beach outside were strewn about the room. "Do you paint at all?" Shelly asked.  
Shawn shook his head. He looked at an unfinished painting still propped up on an easel. "Where is this one of?" he asked, pointing at the canvass.

"Oh, that's the view from my room at the hotel in Spain. If you haven't gone you really must. It's so restorative."

Shawn studied the painting carefully. "What's this building here," he asked, pointing to a modern looking building in the background.

"That's the, oh what's its name? The... Museum of Almería! Such a lovely place. The building is just gorgeous," she explained haltingly.

Shawn hummed thoughtfully as he continued studying the painting. Shelly went on telling him about how much she loved Spain. He nodded attentively and strolled about the room, looking at the numerous other paintings. Most seemed to be of the beach outside, but a few were of views outside more hotel windows. All featuring what looked like museums in the background.

"I'll certainly have to ask Carlton about visiting Spain. It sounds lovely," Shawn offered.

Shelly hummed in agreement. "Gaston just loves it as well." She spritzed a potted fern with some water. "Speaking of our men, we should go see what they're up to."

She led the way to the sprawling living room where Gaston was showing Lassiter something in a glass display case. Gaston smiled as they entered the room. "I was just showing Carlton my newest piece. The copper bowl," he gave his wife a coy grin.

Shawn walked up beside Lassiter and leaned up, pressing his lips near the detective's. Lassiter went to lean into what he thought would be a kiss, and Shawn pulled back ever so slightly. "I had a vision about Shelly in her craft room," he mumbled against the detective's lips.

Lassiter pulled away from Shawn and stared at him blankly. Shawn looked back awkwardly. Lassiter tugged Shawn closer to his side and leaned his head against Shawn's. "Don't do anything stupid," he hissed into Shawn's ear.

Shawn hummed contentedly and nodded.

"If you two like that one, I'm sure I could find one for your own private collection, Carlton," Gaston boasted from behind them.

Lassiter tightened his arm around Shawn's waist. "I'll think about it," he mused.

Shawn started coughing loudly. Lassiter pulled away, a warning look in his eyes.

"Are you all right, dear?" Shelly asked as she rushed toward him.

Shawn cleared his throat roughly. "I'll be all right, I'm so sorry." He coughed loudly again. "I just need some fresh air I think." He quickly made his way out onto the deck, Lassiter right on his heels.

Shawn stood out by the glass deck railing and Lassiter came to a stop in front of him. He leaned down into Shawn's space, looking very much like a doting boyfriend.

"I'm sensing Shelly is _very_  involved in her husband's business," Shawn whispered.

Lassiter took a deep breath. "I thought you were going to take this seriously."

"I am!" Shawn insisted. "I can't tell the spirits when they can and can't give me information."

Lassiter glanced over at the large windows of the living room where Gaston and Shelly were watching them. He grabbed Shawn's chin gently and tilted his head up. Slowly, he pressed his lips against Shawn's and pulled him closer. Shawn closed his eyes reflexively. "Tell me later," Lassiter whispered as he pulled away from Shawn.

Shelly walked out onto the balcony, concern etched on her face. "Is everything all right?"

Shawn stared at her blankly for a minute before he realized he was supposed to respond. "I'm fine, sorry. I forgot my inhaler," he explained sheepishly.

Shelly called for Declan to bring a glass of water out to the deck. In the blink of an eye, a glass of ice water was pressed into Shawn's hand.

Lassiter slipped an arm around his shoulder and pressed his other hand against Shawn's chest, rubbing gently. "Thank you, Shelly," he said quietly.

Gaston joined everyone out on the deck and hugged his wife to his side. "Is everyone all right?"

"I'm fine, thank you. I'm so sorry about that," Shawn chuckled nervously.

Gaston nodded. "Good, good. Declan said he was going to start dinner soon, would you two like to stay?"

Shawn looked up at Lassiter. The detective studied him carefully. "We would love to, but I think we should get home so Spencer can use his inhaler."

"Of course! Perhaps another time," Gaston offered.

Shawn smiled. "I'd love that."

Lassiter linked his hand with Shawn's once more as Shelly and Gaston led their guests to the door.

"Do text us again when you're free," Shelly called as they walked out to the car.

Lassiter nodded emphatically and waved. He opened Shawn's car door for him and helped him into the passenger's seat. Shawn sat completely still in the leather seat as he waited for Lassiter. Once the car was started and they were off the property, Shawn looked over at the detective.

"Shelly is the one stealing the artifacts. The spirits were insistent about it."

Lassiter sighed. "Well, at least you didn't make a scene."

"I'm serious, Lassie. She's totally involved! Shelly steals the pieces and Gaston sells them!"

"If that's true, I'll need more than a hunch you got from Casper The Ghost to bring charges against both of them," Lassiter sneered.

Shawn huffed indignantly and crossed his arms. "You still need me to get closer to them."

Lassiter sighed and focused on the road. The rest of the drive to the Psych office was silent. As soon as Lassiter put the car in park, Shawn flung his car door open and jumped out.

"I'll text you when I figure out when they want to meet again," Lassiter called before Shawn could slam the car door shut. Lassiter let the car idle as he watched Shawn get inside.

Shawn shut the office door and stared out the window at the Mercedes. After a few moments, Lassiter pulled away from the office slowly. Shawn drew the blinds shut and kicked his shoes in a corner. He'd sulk for the night and figure out what he was going to do in the morning.

* * *

Gus shook Shawn awake violently the next morning. Shawn sat up slowly on the couch and rubbed his eyes. He swung his feet onto the floor and stretched dramatically. "Want a smoothie? I think I'm gonna go get us some smoothies," Shawn rambled.

Gus squinted at him. "What happened yesterday?"

"Nothing. More fancy food with with uppity people. You want a pineapple or guava smoothie?"

"Why do you keep sleeping at the office, Shawn? Did you _forget_  to pay your rent again?"

"No, I know how to make out a check, Gus. You should know that you taught me how to do it last month."

Gus pursed his lips and glared at Shawn.

"Okay, fine. This whole undercover thing is... not what I thought it would be," Shawn groaned.

"Having cocktails with rich people in their beachfront mansion while their weird manservant waits on you hand and foot? Yeah, sounds rough."

"It's not that," Shawn sighed. Gus stared at him expectantly. "It's weird, okay, man! One minute Lassiter is attentive and sweet and _mushy_  and the next he's... Lassiter."

"What exactly did you expect? He's still the same grumpy, uptight guy he's always been, but with different sunglasses," Gus reasoned.

Shawn sighed. "I guess I just thought since I was taking everything so seriously he'd take _me_  seriously for once."

Gus stared at him, slightly confused.

"Anyway, do you want a smoothie or not, dude? Last chance. I'm totally leaving right now." Shawn slipped his shoes on quickly and headed for the door.

"Guava. And bring me a croissant too, I'm kinda hungry."

Shawn disappeared out the door.

"Shawn! I'm not kidding! I want the croissant!" Gus called frantically.

Shawn's phone buzzed in his pocket while he waited patiently for his smoothie order. "I didn't forget your croissant, Gus, jeez," he muttered to himself as he unlocked his phone. The text was from Lassiter.

_They want to meet us again Friday_

Shawn stared down at the message. The kid working behind the counter announced that his order was ready. Shawn slipped his phone back in his pocket. He'd deal with Lassiter later.

* * *

Lassiter tossed his cell down on his desk and sighed loudly. Juliet looked up from her paperwork. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"I texted Shawn over an hour ago about meeting up with Shelly and Gaston again and he hasn't responded," he explained angrily.

Juliet closed the file she was working on and leaned over on her desk. "Maybe he's busy."

Lassiter rolled his eyes. "Doing what? Working on his miniature golf swing?"

"Usually you'd be thrilled that Shawn was ignoring you," Juliet said suspiciously.

"Unfortunately, I need him for this case. I still can't believe he weaseled his way into my undercover gig. He's made it his mission in life to screw up every case I work." He checked his phone again and shoved it in one of his desk drawers when he saw there was still no response.

"Sometimes he's helpful," Juliet supplied.

"He makes a fool of himself at our expense regularly," Lassiter countered.

"Has he made a fool of himself while you've been undercover together?"

Lassiter thought back on their trips to the ridiculous mansion. Shawn had been the perfect, sweet, pleasant boyfriend. He hadn't even made a scene when he'd had a 'vision' last night. Or when Lassiter had kissed him out on the balcony. "No," Lassiter relented, "He's been very... professional about the whole thing."

Juliet hummed thoughtfully. "See. He's trying to be helpful. Cut him some slack."

Lassiter huffed and snatched his phone out of his desk drawer. "I'm gonna go see what the hell he's doing."

Juliet watched silently as her partner stalked out of the precinct.

* * *

Lassiter threw open the door to the Psych office, immediately ready to yell at Shawn for ignoring him, but no one seemed to be there. He called out for Shawn and Gus and was met with silence. He looked around the office, trying to figure out where they might have gone.

Sticking out from under Shawn's _Transformers_  mouse pad was a piece of paper with Lassiter's name on it. He grabbed the paper and unfolded it. It was all the details of their undercover relationship.

_Spencer and Carlton's perfect romance_

  * _Met at a party for the launch of a new music-sharing app two years ago_
  * _Our song - "Careless Whisper" by George Michael_
  * _First date at Toma, spent the end of the date on a sunset stroll on Leadbetter Beach_
  * _First kiss when we shared some ice cream at Stearns Wharf three days after our first date_
  * _He asked me to move in on our one year anniversary while celebrating at Toma (we have a standing reservation there every year for our anniversary)_
  * _We cook dinner together when we have time_
  * _We enjoy wine tasting on long weekends_
  * _We try to have at least a cup of coffee together every morning, no matter how busy we get_
  * _We're looking to adopt a French Bulldog_
  * _We never go to bed without saying good night to one another, even when he's off on business_



Lassiter folded the paper back up and slipped it back beneath the mouse pad. He felt a blush creeping up his neck. The bell above the door rang and he turned quickly. Shawn stood in the doorway, surprised.

"What are you doing here, Lassie?"

"I was, uh, wondering where you were. You never replied to my text," Lassiter said quietly.

Shawn walked over to the couch and took a seat. "I was doing stuff," he said flippantly.

"Shelly and Gaston want to meet up again Friday," Lassiter said flatly.

Shawn shrugged. "That's fine."

"They want to meet us at Leadbetter Beach," Lassiter added seriously. Now that he'd seen the list with his own eyes, it somehow seemed more poignant. He sighed.

"Okay," Shawn said nonchalantly.

"Okay," Lassiter repeated curtly. "I'll be here at five thirty on Friday then."

Shawn shrugged again and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Cool."

Lassiter furrowed his brow. "What, is this boring to you now?"

"What do you want me to do, cartwheels? We're meeting them Friday. I'll see you Friday," Shawn said coldly.

Lassiter took a deep breath and counted to ten. "Be ready at five thirty," he said quietly before exiting the office.

* * *

Shawn stood in the bathroom and tugged at the collar of his mint-green shirt. The tan shorts had been the only pants he'd deemed beach worthy, but he was still unsure about the shirt. He pulled a lavender shirt off the bathroom counter and held it up in front of him in the mirror. Lassiter called his name from out in the office. Shawn tossed the lavender shirt back on the counter and rushed out of the bathroom.

Lassiter had on cream linen trousers, a white chambray shirt, and the _mandals_  he'd worn before.

Shawn hummed thoughtfully. "Am I... _under-dressed_  for the beach?" he asked, staring at his flip flops.

Lassiter looked at his outfit appraisingly. He walked up to Shawn and started tucking his shirt into his shorts. Shawn cleared his throat quietly. Lassiter looked up and murmured a quick apology while he backed up. Shawn took over and finished tucking in his shirt.

"That looks fine," Lassiter said as Shawn finished up.

Shawn nodded, grabbed his sunglasses off his desk, and walked out the door to the waiting Mercedes in the parking lot.

The pair rode in silence to Leadbetter beach. When they pulled up, they spotted a large teal beach umbrella with white tassels. "Think that's them?" Shawn asked, squinting against the setting sun.

Lassiter nodded once and bent down to roll up the legs of his pants before he grabbed Shawn's hand. "Let's go."

They trudged through the sand together and smiled when Shelly and Gaston noticed them.

"Carlton! Spencer! You were right it's so beautiful here! We're so glad you could make it!" Shelly beamed at them. She and her husband were laid out on a large blanket beneath the umbrella surrounded by bowls of various fruits and a cooler filled with champagne.

Gaston stood quickly and clapped Lassiter heartily on the shoulder. "Carlton, my friend, I would like to speak to you about something. Privately."

Lassiter looked over at Shawn wearily and unlinked their hands. "I'll be right back, dear," he said sweetly as he followed Gaston down the beach a way.

"Come sit, Spencer! Have some champagne," Shelly called from her spot on the blanket. Her teal beach cover-up matched the umbrella perfectly.

Shawn bit his lip to keep from laughing at the absurdity of it all and sat down beside her. Shelly handed him some champagne and clinked their glasses together. "Any idea what they've run off to talk about?"

Shawn asked, nodding toward where Lassiter and Gaston stood huddled together down the beach.

Shelly smiled coyly at Shawn. "Well, dear, Gaston and I have grown quite fond of you and Carlton."

Shawn tossed back the rest of his champagne. _Please don't let this be some weird proposition to swing_  he pleaded mentally.

"Gaston wants to ask Carlton to join in on our little business," Shelly explained delightedly.

Shawn glanced over at Lassiter immediately. He and Gaston were walking back to the blanket, laughing. Shawn poured himself more champagne and gulped it down quickly.

Lassiter came to a stop in front of Shawn and smiled down at him. "Could we talk for a minute, honey?" he asked as he reached out to help Shawn up.

Shawn took his hand and let the detective help him up off the sand. Lassiter didn't let go as he led Shawn down the beach. The sun was setting quickly, the sky a swirl of peach and purple over the peaceful blue water. They meandered silently down the beach, the tide lapping at their ankles.

Finally, Lassiter stopped and stared out at the sea. "Gaston just asked me to join his smuggling business," he stated simply.

Shawn stared at Lassiter. "That's good, right?"

"Could be. Could be a test. If I say yes I'm all in, and they can trust me. If I say no, they get suspicious and leave town and my case falls apart completely," Lassiter explained succinctly.

Shawn squeezed Lassiter's hand and the detective looked down at him. "So tell him yes," Shawn said simply.

"There's no way to know what that will entail, and I doubt the Chief will green light more time and resources for the case. It's not like this is a murder case or anything. But I want to see it through and catch these people," Lassiter stated seriously.

Shawn looked out at the ocean and watched the tide pick up. He just needed a little more time to help Lassiter break the case, he was certain. "Tell him you'll think about it. Stall him a bit."

Lassiter groaned. "If this offer _is_  a test that could blow the whole thing." He kicked a clump of sand into the increasing tide and Shawn chuckled. Lassiter gave him a puzzled look.

"Be careful, you'll get the Mercedes dirty. It's a loaner, remember?" Shawn teased.

Lassiter looked at Shawn for a long moment before he leaned down and firmly placed his lips over Shawn's. Shawn stood completely still until Lassiter parted his lips slightly. Shawn followed Lassiter's lead and deepened the kiss. The detective pulled him closer and tangled a hand in Shawn's hair. Shawn moaned as Lassiter nibbled his lower lip.

A cold wave splashed around their knees and startled them apart. Lassiter swallowed thickly and linked his hand with Shawn's once more. They headed off for the blanket. Shawn could barely breathe let alone process what had just happened.

"Gaston, I appreciate the offer, but I'm going to need a little more time to mull it over," Lassiter said quietly as he dropped down on the blanket next to the man.

Gaston nodded slowly and sipped his champagne. "I understand. It's a big decision. Take the weekend, talk it over with Spencer," he said, smiling at Shawn.

Shawn poured himself more champagne and drank quickly.

Lassiter threw his arm around Shawn's shoulders and pulled him closer. "Thank you. We'll do that," he grinned at Shawn warmly.

Shawn spent the rest of the night in a haze. He picked at some fruit, drank more champagne than he probably should have, and laughed when appropriate, but his mind was still stuck on the kiss he'd shared with Lassiter. At some point, the sun had set completely and Shelly and Gaston were packing up their things.

Lassiter again helped Shawn up and bid Shelly and Gaston good night. Shawn followed Lassiter back to the car silently. Lassiter finally let go of his hand to open the passenger door for him. The short car ride back to the Psych office was silent and tense.

Lassiter parked the car and waited for Shawn to get out, to yell at him, anything. Shawn just sat, staring out the windshield. "Everything okay?" Lassiter asked hesitantly.

Shawn shot him a tight lipped grin. "Yeah, yeah, I'm good." He opened the car and stumbled slightly getting out of the car.

Lassiter was by his side surprisingly fast. "How much champagne did you drink?" he asked as he helped Shawn stand up straight.

Shawn closed his eyes and thought for a minute. "Probably around two bottles. Or three."

"Did you eat anything besides the fruit?" Lassiter asked as he helped Shawn to the door.

"There wasn't anything _but_  the fruit," Shawn complained.

Lassiter got the door open and deposited Shawn on the couch. He grunted inelegantly as he sprawled out and propped his feet up on the coffee table. Lassiter left him to rummage through the office fridge. "Do you have anything that's like... real food in here?"

"Everything in there is _real food_ "

Lassiter rolled his eyes as he pushed aside a half-eaten pudding cup. He opened the freezer, hoping to find something better in there. A hot pocket caught his eye. "You got a microwave?"

Shawn pointed to the small counter next to the fridge. Lassiter popped the hot pocket in and started the microwave. It was long and silent two minutes. Finally, the microwave chimed and Lassiter wrapped the hot pocket in a paper towel and took it to Shawn.

Shawn laughed as he reached out and grabbed the snack. "Gus is never gonna believe you made me a hot pocket."

Lassiter stared down at his feet. "I should go," he said angling his head toward the door.

Shawn pouted. "You're not gonna have a hot pocket?"

Lassiter chuckled quietly. "No, I think I'll pass. I only had one glass of champagne. I'll, uh, text you later?"

Shawn blew on the hot pocket loudly. "Okay. Thanks, Lassie," he grinned before he took a big bite of his food.

Lassiter stared at Shawn for a long moment before he finally saw himself out.

* * *

Gus found Shawn sprawled out on the couch the next morning, pizza sauce smeared over across lips. He rolled his eyes and pulled Shawn's legs off the couch.

Shawn groaned and scratched his head. "Lassie?" he mumbled in confusion.

"Not even close," Gus huffed as he dropped down onto the couch beside his best friend.

Shawn's eyes flew open.

"Why is your face covered in pizza sauce?" Gus asked.

Shawn wiped sloppily at his mouth. "Lassiter made me a hot pocket last night," he explained through a yawn.

Gus squinted at his best friend. "Did you hit your head last night?"

"No, but I possibly drank too much champagne," Shawn groaned as he stretched.

"So Lassiter brought you back here and... made you a hot pocket cause you got drunk?"

"What can I say, I'm a charming drunk."

"You are a lot of things when you're drunk, charming isn't one of them. Annoying comes to mind. What happened last night?"

Shawn took a deep breath. The last thing he wanted to do at the moment was rehash what had happened the night before. "We went to the beach, drank champagne with preppy people, blah, blah, blah, same stuff we did before," Shawn shrugged.

"That's it?" Gus asked incredulously.

"Yup. That's it, bud," Shawn replied airily.

Gus gave Shawn a sidelong glance and rose from the couch. "Okay. I just came by to pick up the mail, I'm going by the restaurant to see Amanda in like an hour. You gonna survive on your own today?"

"Do you even really like sweet, bubbly Amanda or are you just using her to get discounts at the restaurant?"

Gus flipped Shawn off. "I like her, Shawn. She just happens to work at a great restaurant. It's serendipity if you ask me."

Shawn rolled his eyes and told Gus to have a good time with Amanda. As soon as Gus walked out the door, Shawn dug his phone from between the couch cushions. No texts. He frowned and tossed the phone down on the couch.

If Lassiter wasn't going to talk about what had happened, then neither was Shawn. They had been undercover. It wasn't a big deal. It wasn't like strolling down the beach at sunset with Lassiter and sharing a kiss with him in the swelling tide was one of the most romantic things Shawn had ever experienced. It was fine.

Shawn shut his eyes and leaned back against the couch. Everything would make sense again when the case was over.

* * *

Juliet sat at her desk Monday afternoon and watched as her partner tapped his pen rapidly on his desk. He'd been an anxious mess all day, refused to talk about the case, and was even back in his usual detective's attire. She watched her partner carefully. He sighed loudly and tossed his pen down on the desk, flipped the folder in front of him closed angrily and pushed it away.

"You want to get lunch?" Juliet asked cautiously.

Lassiter looked up at his partner and frowned. "Nah, I'm not hungry."

"What is going on, Carlton? You've been on edge all day. Is it the case?"

"Gaston stopped texting me back on Saturday. I've been trying all weekend to set up another meeting with him and I've gotten no response. I messed the case up. I'll never catch him. I messed _everything_  up on Friday."

Juliet looked at him quizzically. "What do you mean you messed everything up on Friday?"

"Gaston asked me to join his smuggling operation and I didn't know what to do. I told him I'd take the weekend to mull it over but... he hasn't responded to any of my texts since," Lassiter explained disappointedly.

"Has Shawn heard from Gaston or his wife since Friday?" Juliet asked.

Lassiter pinched the bridge of his nose. "I haven't talked to Shawn all weekend either," he muttered.

"Okay. Well, maybe you should talk to him. See if he's had any contact with them," Juliet suggested.

Lassiter groaned quietly.

"The way I see it, you can either continue to pout around the precinct all day or go talk to Shawn," Juliet reasoned.

"I'm not pouting."

"Go talk to Shawn."

Lassiter groaned again and grabbed his keys.

* * *

Shawn was scrolling aimlessly through one of his many online wish lists when the door to the office was thrown open. Lassiter strode through the office and came to an abrupt stop in front of Shawn's desk.

Shawn jumped out of his chair. "Lassie," he blurted out.

"Spencer," Lassiter replied tensely. He looked around the office. "Where's Gus?"

"He's eating his way through an ethical dilemma at the bakery up the street."

Lassiter furrowed his brow.

"He may have realized he was using poor, sweet Amanda for her access to the restaurant she worked at and it's tearing him apart," Shawn rambled. "But that's not why you're here is it?" he added quietly.

Lassiter took a deep breath. "Have you heard from Gaston or Shelly since Friday?"

Shawn looked down at his shoes. "That's why you came all the way over here?"

"I've been trying to text Gaston all weekend and he hasn't replied. I don't want this case to fall apart right in front of me. Have you heard from them in any way since Friday?"

"No," Shawn answered sadly, "I haven't heard from them since... we went to Leadbetter beach."

Lassiter looked around the office, at his shoes, at the mess of knick knacks on a shelf, at anything but Shawn.

"Have you gone by the house?" Shawn asked.

"I didn't want to just show up and make them suspicious," Lassiter reasoned.

"Fair enough. But maybe now it's time to check the place out," Shawn countered.

"I suppose." Lassiter sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "What if... what if I was right though? What if the offer to join the business was test and they skipped town when I was hesitant to accept? What if --"

"You'll never know if you don't go to the house," Shawn cut him off. He stepped into the detective's space and looked up at him, searching his face. He was nervous. Shawn reached out and brushed the side of Lassiter's hand with his index finger. "You've gotta finish the case, Lassie," he whispered.

Lassiter chewed at his bottom lip.

"We'll go together," Shawn suggested through a weak smile.

"No, if they did get suspicious there's no telling what could be going on at that house. It's not--"

"Hear me out. We show up together just in case. If everything is fine then we're just there to discuss the offer. If everything is a mess and they're gone then we go in and try to figure out where they went."

Lassiter met Shawn's gaze and stared at him, wondering when he'd become someone he could count on. He swallowed thickly and nodded.

Shawn grinned at him. "That's the Lassie I know!" He grabbed his phone off his desk and led the way out the office door.

* * *

Lassiter threw his car in park on the gravel driveway outside the mansion and quickly scrambled out of the car. Shawn was by his side quickly, and the pair stood staring at the massive property in front of them.

Lassiter reached over and took Shawn's hand in his own. Shawn looked down at their linked hands questioningly. "Just in case," Lassiter offered plainly. They made their way to the front porch and discovered it was ajar.

"Guess Declan took the day off," Shawn joked as stepped forward and gently pushed the door open a bit farther.

Lassiter tugged on Shawn's hand roughly. "What are you doing?" he hissed, "There's no telling what's going on in there. Go back to the car, I'll check the house."

Shawn glared at him and jerked his hand free from Lassiter's. "When have I ever waited in the car?"

"At least let me go first," Lassiter insisted.

Shawn moved out of the way to let Lassiter through the door first. The detective bent down and and pulled a gun from an ankle holster.

"Oh my god," Shawn hissed.

"You know I'm always armed," Lassiter whispered back.

Shawn rolled his eyes.

The two moved into the entry way slowly and were stunned. The mansion appeared to be completely empty. Lassiter squeezed his eyes shut and sighed. "This is hopeless. I was so worried you were going to blow three months of undercover work and it was me. I blew it. I destroyed my own case. I --"

"Lassie, we haven't even searched the rest of the house yet. They couldn't have taken _everything_  in one weekend. We'll find something." Shawn peeked around a doorframe and found an empty room. He winced and turned back into the entryway. "Well that one's definitely empty so we don't need to waste any time there."

A distant 'thump' from somewhere in the house caught their attention. Lassiter put his index finger to his lips and motioned for Shawn to follow him. They quietly made their way to what had been the dining room. The ornate dining set, the rugs and draperies were all gone. In the corner of the room Lassiter spotted two scraps of paper and went to check them out.

Shawn drifted to the small hallway between the dining room and kitchen. He heard Lassiter muttering something about price tags as he opened the first door on his right. He found the bathroom he remembered from before, empty of all towels and decor. He moved to the next door and opened it slowly. A staircase leading down into a dark room greeted him.

"Uh, Lassie," he called as he reached to his left to flick on the light switch on the wall. Just as he got the light on, he felt a sharp pain on the back of his head and everything went black.

Lassiter moved quickly to the small hallway and saw Shelly standing in the open doorway, bottle of wine in one hand and a gun in the other. Shawn was sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs, motionless.

Shelly smiled wickedly at the detective and pointed her gun at his chest.

"Lower your weapon," Lassiter ordered as he aimed his gun at her.

"I don't think you're in a position to be giving orders," Shelly snarled. She aimed her gun down the stairs and pulled the trigger. A bullet lodged in the floor by Shawn's hip. He still didn't move.

"Okay! Okay," Lassiter relented and slowly put his gun down on the floor and slid it away from himself.

"Down the stairs," Shelly ordered.

Lassiter moved slowly to the staircase and stopped at the first step. The room below seemed to be some kind of cellar. He didn't budge, trying to figure out his next move. Shelly pressed the barrel of her gun into the middle of his back. Lassiter took a few shaky steps and stopped about halfway down.

"Shelly, there's still time to fix this --"

"Shut up!" she screeched and kicked the back the detective's knees.

Lassiter went tumbling the rest of the way down the stairs and landed next to Shawn. Shelly was standing over them in a minute, gun shoved in Lassiter's face. She ordered him to the back of the cellar. He got up slowly and was led to a corner where a large desk with wrought iron legs sat.

Shelly shoved him on the floor and removed his tie. She pulled some rope off a shelf above the desk and tied Lassiter's hands behind his back and around one of the desk legs. "Stay put," she said sweetly as she gagged Lassiter with his tie. She patted him on the head, took his cell phone from his jacket pocket, and walked away.

Lassiter thought he could hear her dragging Shawn across the concrete floor, but he couldn't see what was happening. He shut his eyes and leaned his head back against the leg of the desk. All of his careful planning and undercover work and he'd walked right into this, and brought Shawn with him. He heard Shelly's heels clicking through the cellar and up the stairs. Then he heard the door slam shut and lock. He tried to pull his hands free but it was useless. All he could do now was wait and try not to panic.

* * *

Shawn opened his eyes slowly and took in his surroundings. He was laid out on a concrete floor in a dimly lit room, hands tied together in front of him. He sat up and looked around for Lassiter. There seemed to be no sign of the detective. Shawn patted his pockets and checked for his phone. Gone.

"Okay," he whispered to himself, "Gotta find Lassie."

He stood up slowly and his legs wobbled. How long had he been out? He took a few steps and started calling out for Lassiter. A muffled yell came from the back of the room. He stumbled as quickly as he could toward the sound. He found Lassiter tied to the desk in the back corner.

"Lassie, what happened?" Shawn asked as he dropped to his knees in front of the detective.

Lassiter grunted at him impatiently.

"Oh, right," Shawn said as he reached over and pulled Lassiter's tie from his mouth.

"You're bleeding," Lassiter blurted out as soon as he was able to speak.

Shawn reached up and pressed his fingertips to his forehead. "Oh, wow, I am bleeding," he laughed nervously as he looked down at his hand. "I'm bleeding."

"Spencer."

"I'm _bleeding_."

"Spencer."

"From my head."

" _Shawn_!"

Shawn looked up at Lassiter in shock.

"It's gonna be okay. We'll get out of here, but you've gotta untie me first," Lassiter explained calmly.

Shawn nodded and scooted over so he could work on the knot keeping Lassiter anchored to the desk leg. "How'd we get down here?" he asked.

"Shelly," Lassiter stated plainly.

Shawn huffed as he finally got the knot undone. Lassiter rubbed his sore wrists.

"Shelly loved me though," Shawn whined.

"She's a criminal, she loves crime. Here, let me untie your hands."

Shawn shoved his hands in Lassiter's direction and watched as the detective carefully untied the rope around his wrists. "She took my phone," he muttered once Lassiter was done.

"Mine too. Locked the door on her way out and everything," Lassiter sighed. "She left us alive though so she must be planning on coming back. We just have to wait."

"Wonderful," Shawn said sarcastically.

A heavy silence enveloped them as they sat on the cool concrete floor, avoiding eye contact. Shawn scooted across the floor and leaned back against the other desk leg. He glanced over at Lassiter and studied him carefully. "How'd she get us down here? I thought you had a gun," he asked, puzzled.

Lassiter scrubbed his hand over his face. "She fired at you," he sighed.

"What! She shot at me? When? Is that why I'm bleeding? Oh my god do I have a gunshot wound?" he frantically started feeling his face and head.

Lassiter reached over and gently pulled Shawn's hand away from his face. "You don't have a gunshot wound, I promise. She knocked you out with a bottle of wine and you fell down the stairs. She shot at the floor next to you so I'd surrender my weapon." He looked away from Shawn and stared at the floor.

Shawn squinted at the detective. "You gave up your gun to... protect me?"

"Of course!" Lassiter said immediately.

Shawn shifted on the floor again so he was fully facing Lassiter. "I'm sorry, Lassie," he murmured.

"For what?"

"I ruined your case. I got us locked in a cellar waiting for some dangerous criminal to come back so she can --"

"This isn't your fault," Lassiter insisted. "You were actually.... pretty good at the whole 'undercover' thing. I shouldn't have brought you back here though. I knew it could all be compromised and I let you tag along anyway. It's my fault."

"Tag along? Like I wouldn't have just come out here on my own anyway if you'd have told me not to. Come on, Lassie, you know me. I don't listen."

Lassiter chuckled and stared at where Shawn's hand still rested in his own. "Thank you," he said quietly, "for taking this seriously for me. Even though you don't listen. And now we're locked in a cellar."

Shawn squeezed Lassiter's hand. "Hasn't been _all_  bad though. Declan made good gin and tonics. We got to drive around in a Mercedes. Drink expensive champagne on the beach," he laughed.

Lassiter worried his lip for a moment before he spoke. "I'm sorry about... the beach," he muttered.

Shawn shot him an anxious look. "Why, uh, why'd you kiss me that night?" he asked.

Lassiter sighed loudly and let go of Shawn's hand. "I panicked. I knew if I wanted to catch Gaston and Shelly I'd have to accept their offer, but I knew there was no way Chief Vick could approve more time for the case and I could just see it all coming apart. And I panicked 'cause... I didn't want it to end."

Shawn shook his head in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I found the relationship list," Lassiter admitted quietly. "And it was... sweet. And I realized I didn't want it all to end. I wanted to be 'Carlton and Spencer' and go to Toma and Stearns Wharf and --"

Shawn leaned over and pressed his lips to Lassiter's. Lassiter hummed in surprise and then leaned into the kiss. Shawn reached up and wrapped his hand around Lassiter's neck, pulling him closer. "We can," he whispered against the detective's lips as he pulled away.

"We have to make it out of here first," Lassiter said dejectedly.

Shawn leaned his forehead against Lassiter's and then winced. "Ow," he whispered as he leaned back.

Lassiter reached up and gently touched Shawn's hairline, where the blood was coming from. "You're probably gonna need stitches. I think you cut it open when you fell down the stairs."

Shawn took Lassiter's hand in his once more and linked their fingers together. "I'll live. You can even buy me some ice cream if I'm brave and don't cry when I get stitched up." He smiled softly at Lassiter.

The sound of the door unlocking startled them. Lassiter squeezed Shawn's hand and pressed a gentle kiss near the cut in his hairline. "We're gonna get out of here," he said confidently.

* * *

Shelly's heels clicked down the stairs and she came to a stop in front of Lassiter and Shawn. "Well, I guess it was a good thing I locked the door," she said wryly, staring at the untied ropes on the floor.

"What kind of amateur ties a guy's hands in front of him?" Shawn snarked.

Lassiter shot a warning glance at Shawn.

"I mean, that's like criminal 101! You always tie the hands behind the back! What kind of rookie mistake --"

"Enough!" Shelly shouted. "You're still down here and I still have a gun so I'm still calling the shots. You two got in the way and now you've got to be dealt with." She pointed her gun in Lassiter's face.

Shawn shook his head quickly. "Shelly, don't do this. We don't have to tell anyone about this. It's just between us. And Gaston. Where is Gaston?"

"He's weak. He was so sure you two were the real deal, no matter how much I told him we should just leave. He was so insistent that we trust you and bring on board. I found your badge when I took your phone, _Carlton_. I always knew you weren't what you seemed! Gaston is a fool!" Shelly ranted angrily.

Shawn took a deep breath. "Shelly what you don't know is... I'm psychic."

Lassiter looked over at him, eyes wide.

"I can see how this ends if you pull that trigger, Shelly. You're smarter than this. You're smarter than your husband. You're the one who steals all the artifacts. You go to all the museums. You plan all the heists. He just sells the stuff. But you, you're the brains of the operation. You're smarter than this, Shelly."

Shelly threw her head back and laughed, and Shawn saw his opening. He lunged forward and tackled the woman to the floor. Her gun clattered away from her. Lassiter scrambled after it. He turned quickly and aimed the gun at Shelly. "Don't move!" he barked.

Shelly laid on the floor, panting, and closed her eyes.

"You're under arrest," Lassiter declared.

Shawn scrambled to his feet. "I'm gonna see if there's a phone," he offered as he made his way out of the cellar.

Lassiter nodded at him and watched as Shawn disappeared up the stairs.

* * *

By the time Juliet pulled up to the mansion it awash in the red and blue of police cruiser lights. She parked and made a mad dash for the front of the house. There was an ambulance idling near the front porch, two figures hunched together in the back. She took off running.

Shawn and Lassiter sat in the back of the ambulance, blankets wrapped around them. An EMT worked carefully to stitch up the cut in Shawn's hairline.

"Will it scar? Am I going to go bald there? I can't go bald. My hair is like my best feature." Shawn rambled as the harried EMT kept working.

"It's going to be fine, Shawn," Lassiter reassured.

It was then Juliet noticed their hands were linked, resting on Lassiter's thigh. She cocked her head to the side and smiled.

"I should call Gus, he's probably wondering where I went," Shawn mused.

"I already called him. He said he's on his way. He'll be here soon, don't worry," Lassiter reassured.

Shawn squeezed his and and smiled warmly at him. The EMT told him to hold still. Shawn groaned dramatically. Finally, the EMT announced she was done and Shawn thanked her. She walked away and Shawn rested his head against Lassiter's shoulder.

"Can I have ice cream now?" Shawn asked quietly.

"You complained the whole time," Lassiter laughed.

"But I didn't cry," Shawn argued.

Lassiter pulled his head back and looked at Shawn, a small smile on his face. "I guess you earned some ice cream," he conceded.

Shawn leaned over and pecked Lassiter on the lips. "The place on Stearns Wharf is probably closed but I know somewhere we could go," he murmured against the detective's lips.

Lassiter laughed and kissed Shawn again.

Juliet backed away slowly. She could catch up with them later.

 

**Author's Note:**

> After not being able to write anything for months, this idea crept up and wouldn't leave me alone. I hope it's an enjoyable read, cause I really enjoyed writing it. Well, aside from the times when I felt like tearing all my hair out that is. 
> 
> Stearns Wharf, Toma, Leadbetter Beach, and Hendry's Beach are all real places in Santa Barbara. And you can in fact get ice cream at Stearns Wharf. 
> 
> The title is a line from "Careless Whisper" by George Michael
> 
> Kudos and comments literally make my day :)


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